And I had a bad day....

Very rough one, got off work at 6 am, picked up Bear, came home and he was just not feeling quite right. So we just hung out, me, Bear, and Xander while Bear was kind of a terror watching a movie when my phone rang at 8am. It was my boss asking me to come in at 10am. So I took the boys up to my mom's house because Kev was sleeping and has park patrol tonight, and went in, and I got terminated. Just a little piece of paper saying I was not longer employed there and "Refer to Baxter County Personnel Policy Section 9E.4 if you wish to request a grievance hearing." So I know that because I live in an "at will" state they don't "have" to give me a reason they let me go I still asked. They weren't saying. Just that I had the right to the grievance hearing. Now I have read about this grievance hearing and I don't really know that I WANT one, just because it almost sounds like you have one to get your job back. I really don't know that I want to try and get back a job they just fired me from. BUT I DO what to know WHY. I just don't really understand why I don't get to know. I mean if I really screwed up then tell me. If I wore the wrong color shoes in, tell me. I understand that I could be let go for some pretty silly reasons with this "at will" thing but MY worry is that perspective employers will call them and they will share their reasons with them and I won't know about it and those perspective employers will not hire me for reasons I don't know. Does that make any sense to anyone but me?!? I have a friend who worked with me in another job. She was let go. Given the option to quit before she was fired I believe, it has been so long ago I am not even sure maybe she just put in her 2 weeks and that was it, anyway it was all health related and they were really stubborn about not working with her on her issues which was really silly because she was REALLY REALLY good at her job!! ANYWAY she found out later she was having trouble getting hired because that employer was simply telling perspective employers that if they were given the opportunity to hire her again they would not. No explanation about the health issue making it impossible for her to work within their arbitrary rules. Just NO. I found THAT very harsh. So THIS is just really hard. I have to say in comparison to other times I have been terminated, I can remember 3 of them, yup Stellar I know, this has to be the hardest to come to terms with because I don't know WHY, but the easiest because I just simply was "sensing" something coming for a while. Not so much that I thought I was going to get fired. No that was a pretty big shocker, but I knew change was coming and I had been having some weird stay at home mom dreams, and weird work scheme dreams and as much as I don't lend a lot to dream/prophecy I think this time around I was prepared a bit. Now if only I wasn't so hung up on this stupid WHY! Of course I am freaking out about getting my Resume updated and looking "right", filing for (and I fear being denied for) unemployment and assistance, like ARkids for my children to have health insurance because OF COURSE today Bear has a 103 degree fever. Yes God I am listening, I just don't obviously know what you are trying to tell me. Is there an interpreter in the house???? Oh yeah and I couldn't bring myself to put pictures on this entry. Nothing seemed to really work. (Oooo that was a BAD joke)