I used to be so well adjusted. I used to be so happy with my life and everything in it. I mean I know I was never really in control of everything in it, there was a lot of negatives that came at me that I never let get me down. I really kept my chin up. And then like a dark cloud out of no where the ugly head of jealousy reared and I was almost taken by surprise, I knew it was there, in the background waiting for me. I mean there were days when I would look at yet another crappy apartment for rent when I would consider the crappy credit score that would not be any better any time soon no
matter what I would do keeping me from looking seriously at looking at purchasing a home
for myself and my kids. That is when I realized I am seething with jealousy. And what really am I jealous of?? Another payment I can't really afford? Another cost that we don't have the money for? Honestly we are most definitely scraping the bottom of the money barrel just making it month to
month, paycheck to paycheck with what we are paying now. Sure it would be less "taxing" if I would see a little bit of child support from the people who provided a little bit of the DNA that combined with mine to make the wonderful little people that is my responsibility and joy, no really it is my JOY, to raise,
love and enjoy! Why is it that all this money crap makes a person so jealous of stuff that other people have?? I know that everyone else is struggling in
ways maybe we aren't. Perhaps not financially like we are but maybe spiritually, or in some other
way. I am in a very stable family. Maybe not in my dream home. Maybe not with my dream kids as far as behaviour goes, but hey then they wouldn't be MY kids for sure! BUT, I really do wish I had my own house. I really do want a home. Please tell me I am not the
only one who is jealous over others haves.
I used to be so well adjusted. I used to be so happy with my life and everything in it. I mean I know I was never really in control of everything in it, there was a lot of negatives that came at me that I never let get me down. I really kept my chin up. And then like a dark cloud out of no where the ugly head of jealousy reared and I was almost taken by surprise, I knew it was there, in the background waiting for me. I mean there were days when I would look at yet another crappy apartment for rent when I would consider the crappy credit score that would not be any better any time soon no 
matter what I would do keeping me from looking seriously at looking at purchasing a home 
for myself and my kids. That is when I realized I am seething with jealousy. And what really am I jealous of?? Another payment I can't really afford? Another cost that we don't have the money for? Honestly we are most definitely scraping the bottom of the money barrel just making it month to 
month, paycheck to paycheck with what we are paying now. Sure it would be less "taxing" if I would see a little bit of child support from the people who provided a little bit of the DNA that combined with mine to make the wonderful little people that is my responsibility and joy, no really it is my JOY, to raise,
love and enjoy! Why is it that all this money crap makes a person so jealous of stuff that other people have?? I know that everyone else is struggling in 
ways maybe we aren't. Perhaps not financially like we are but maybe spiritually, or in some other 
way. I am in a very stable family. Maybe not in my dream home. Maybe not with my dream kids as far as behaviour goes, but hey then they wouldn't be MY kids for sure! BUT, I really do wish I had my own house. I really do want a home. Please tell me I am not the 
only one who is jealous over others haves. 
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