I am a Moody, Judgemental Wench!
I have spent a lot of time today trying to figure out what to title this rant I am about to spout. I considered finding some kitchy cute saying and just letting readers (I know there must be more than ONE of you out there) stumble head first into my black abysmal depths of bitterness, but then I realized rather than surprising you I would let you know right off exactly where my mind is. I am moody. I have never denied that it takes little more than the tremble of a leaf to change my happy go lucky smile into a could you possibly pee a little more in my post toasties frown. Heaven knows I have waded my way through many a full on tantrum from my adorable little demon child in the span of this ever so long day, so perhaps it is partially that lending to my 
complete lack of patience or understanding on many levels today. (Today actually being yesterday to you people who don't work all night and therefore only count it a new day AFTER I have slept, which I guess make sense 
when you think how in the world would YOU know when I have slept and therefore be able to consider it a new day??) I am judgemental. I jump to conclusions about people and things with very little information and or interaction. I am more than willing to let those opinions change but I stand by my first gut 
instinct/reaction in most cases. I like to think I am somewhat "in sync" with something not available to most people, I have my finger on a pulse one might say others don't have access to. I am empathetic to the "nth" degree but it lets me see the good and 
the bad. That being said, people are stupid. Me, You, Your sister, her kids, her kid's best friend's neighbor's cousin's acquaintance in Peru. At one time or another we could near drown in our stupidity. And there are vast amounts of time that I bask in this sea. I sit on my silent beach of judgment and can't quite comprehend the forehead slapping stupidity that happen in this world. I am a Wench, not a cute flouncy skirt, low cut blouse, beer stein carting Wench. Just the seedier side of that serving wench, the back hand coming from her free hand when a customer cops a feel kind of wench. I pause wondering does any of this make sense? 
Probably not. But onto my rant. People tend to put out into casual hearing many of their foibles and phobias. I can't judge this, you are reading my blog, no more needs to be said. And yet, I am going to judge, and then let it go. So lately, yup today, I have run into it seems like thousands of people, ok maybe like 3, who seem to have it better than me. Ok it doesn't take a lot to have it better than me in some sense of "better than me" but it does take a lot in other senses. What I mean is people seem to take it for granted that they have the means to make dreams a reality and have "wants" taken care of because they have excess after taking care of their "needs". Just because I am moody and judgemental and a Wench, I will say today I temporarily hate these people. I always wanted to be the mom who could provide for her kids. I always wanted to be the AMAZING wife who took care of the home, had a fabulous job, and was smashingly funny at dinner parties. In reality, I am an amazing girlfriend (ok so I failed at the wife thing but maybe someday this will become 
my last best effort at that goal), who provides nearly everything for her kids with the help of Food Stamps and a wonderful man who is biologically unrelated to either of my boys but is more of a father to them than their erstwhile sperm donors will ever be. I really can't take care of my home, which I had hoped to own by now but due to bad financial decisions in my past (i.e. buying a house with my husband just before we divorced thus leaving 
him the perfect opportunity to stop paying for it after saying he would NEVER allow it to go into default leaving me with the wonderful words FORECLOSURE on my credit report, I know I am STUPID, remember everyone is.) I will probably NEVER be able to secure a loan to buy a home, heck it is sometimes a challenge to get someone to rent me a place! I can take care of my home but I am of the mind that clutter is cool, and cleaning just sucks and for my kids to have a happy mommy she only cleans 2-3 times a week! I have a fabulous job, which I love, but not quite what I was looking for when I dreamed my dreams. It certainly doesn't have the paycheck I expected to have at this point in my life! So, my point, and I DID have one, is that too many people are out there taking for granted the things their money is bringing them. I don't think money would fix EVERYTHING in my life. Heck I don't know that there is much I WANT fixed, but a little extra money every month would be nice. 
Ok. Rant over. Maybe you just ignored the confusing rant and just enjoyed the cute pictures! Barrett is One Year Old! 
I have spent a lot of time today trying to figure out what to title this rant I am about to spout. I considered finding some kitchy cute saying and just letting readers (I know there must be more than ONE of you out there) stumble head first into my black abysmal depths of bitterness, but then I realized rather than surprising you I would let you know right off exactly where my mind is. I am moody. I have never denied that it takes little more than the tremble of a leaf to change my happy go lucky smile into a could you possibly pee a little more in my post toasties frown. Heaven knows I have waded my way through many a full on tantrum from my adorable little demon child in the span of this ever so long day, so perhaps it is partially that lending to my 
complete lack of patience or understanding on many levels today. (Today actually being yesterday to you people who don't work all night and therefore only count it a new day AFTER I have slept, which I guess make sense 
when you think how in the world would YOU know when I have slept and therefore be able to consider it a new day??) I am judgemental. I jump to conclusions about people and things with very little information and or interaction. I am more than willing to let those opinions change but I stand by my first gut 
instinct/reaction in most cases. I like to think I am somewhat "in sync" with something not available to most people, I have my finger on a pulse one might say others don't have access to. I am empathetic to the "nth" degree but it lets me see the good and 
the bad. That being said, people are stupid. Me, You, Your sister, her kids, her kid's best friend's neighbor's cousin's acquaintance in Peru. At one time or another we could near drown in our stupidity. And there are vast amounts of time that I bask in this sea. I sit on my silent beach of judgment and can't quite comprehend the forehead slapping stupidity that happen in this world. I am a Wench, not a cute flouncy skirt, low cut blouse, beer stein carting Wench. Just the seedier side of that serving wench, the back hand coming from her free hand when a customer cops a feel kind of wench. I pause wondering does any of this make sense? 
Probably not. But onto my rant. People tend to put out into casual hearing many of their foibles and phobias. I can't judge this, you are reading my blog, no more needs to be said. And yet, I am going to judge, and then let it go. So lately, yup today, I have run into it seems like thousands of people, ok maybe like 3, who seem to have it better than me. Ok it doesn't take a lot to have it better than me in some sense of "better than me" but it does take a lot in other senses. What I mean is people seem to take it for granted that they have the means to make dreams a reality and have "wants" taken care of because they have excess after taking care of their "needs". Just because I am moody and judgemental and a Wench, I will say today I temporarily hate these people. I always wanted to be the mom who could provide for her kids. I always wanted to be the AMAZING wife who took care of the home, had a fabulous job, and was smashingly funny at dinner parties. In reality, I am an amazing girlfriend (ok so I failed at the wife thing but maybe someday this will become 
my last best effort at that goal), who provides nearly everything for her kids with the help of Food Stamps and a wonderful man who is biologically unrelated to either of my boys but is more of a father to them than their erstwhile sperm donors will ever be. I really can't take care of my home, which I had hoped to own by now but due to bad financial decisions in my past (i.e. buying a house with my husband just before we divorced thus leaving 
him the perfect opportunity to stop paying for it after saying he would NEVER allow it to go into default leaving me with the wonderful words FORECLOSURE on my credit report, I know I am STUPID, remember everyone is.) I will probably NEVER be able to secure a loan to buy a home, heck it is sometimes a challenge to get someone to rent me a place! I can take care of my home but I am of the mind that clutter is cool, and cleaning just sucks and for my kids to have a happy mommy she only cleans 2-3 times a week! I have a fabulous job, which I love, but not quite what I was looking for when I dreamed my dreams. It certainly doesn't have the paycheck I expected to have at this point in my life! So, my point, and I DID have one, is that too many people are out there taking for granted the things their money is bringing them. I don't think money would fix EVERYTHING in my life. Heck I don't know that there is much I WANT fixed, but a little extra money every month would be nice. 
Ok. Rant over. Maybe you just ignored the confusing rant and just enjoyed the cute pictures! Barrett is One Year Old! 
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