Keeping Positive and Moving Forward

It has come to my attention that i spend a large bulk of my time blogging about all that goes wrong. So I have decided as of today I will try and do a positive thing every week. Ok yeah I want to put more pics on my blog and I miss having such cleverly twisted tales as I had back when I had a bit of free time to do the whole blogging thing, and also you never know when i will be without internet next. So here I go!!

Today we found out Xander will be able to go to the 8th Grade! Yay!!

Today I got to spend quality time with my boys and do something away from the house without sacrificing getting work done. (Ok so we bought a snack at the bar next to the laundromat but it still counts...they had fun!)

This week I have had the pleasure of enduring the long distance run that is potty training all initiated by my little Bear. I could fill this post with all sorts of complaints about the time I have spent in the bathroom (hours) and the tediousness of constant switching from toilet to potty chair. I could tell you several "vignette" type stories about how amazingly controlled my little new to the potty boy had done with peeing in 3 different places with the same bladder full of pee. I could regale you with stories of control of bowel movements that would astound doctors who study these sorts of things (seriously this kid makes poo in both toilets with one movement...it's crazy...several times...at the same "sitting") But you don't want to read about my potty adventures. (And in case you do there will probably be a blog up coming since it IS such an adventure!!)

The last thing I am thankful for comes with a photo that could be considered questionable...but I felt compelled to record it photographically as the chances of it continuing is very slight. I am at that stage with both my kids that being "loved on" is not really a common thing. Mr 2yr old is too busy doing his thing, aka throwing fits or playing alone.

Mr. Almost-13yr old is just well, a teenager and doesn't have a lot of "love" for his momma in the ways of PDAs....so lately both boys have been kissing me randomly. Bear is sneaky enough that I can't catch it on camera...Xander I can convince to re-do the love for a snap shot. So I present my totally inappropriate picture of the day. Me being kissed on the lips by my teenager. I have to say I can't believe he still HUGS me!!

Jumping to conclusions and other acrobatic skills I have...

So I had a bad night, didn't know what was going on, and as I am prone to do I jumped to conclusions. I guess I am really used to things just going down hill fast and it being the "end" to

all things.

I have been lectured on having more faith in things and stop being so negative.

Well, I can see that I need to but it is hard to do. So. I am still in a relationship.

We are just fine, I just had a

major breakdown and he just doesn't answer his phone much when he's hanging with friends and acknowledged that he wasn't in a place to discuss anything. *glug glug* tee hee! Anyway, I have decided to stop worrying over every little thing and to just bask in the glow of being happy in times we are together and live life as positively as possible.

I am starting to realize I am not a house keeper, I hate laundry when it is mine, and I just don't have enough time in the day to be lazy AND accomplish things that need to be done. And I only work Part Time! Yikes!

So to perk up this update/blog I have placed some cute pics of me and my kids...Ok of my kids.

I've been duped yet again...surprised?

How am I really going to ever trust my heart. I should know better. Over and over again I trust, put myself out there and over and over again the crushing pain comes on. I just need to stop. Seriously people I do not have a REAL LIFE best friend. I do not have anyone who really wants the job. No biggie if that is all, but I can't keep a real relationship alive with ANYONE! Whats wrong right now? Well, I don't know because my boyfriend stopped talking to me. Again. I don't play games. So what do I do? I guess I just give up. I'm not looking for anything and bam I meet him. It seems so wonderful and perfect and then boom. don't know if it's because I'm not a beck and call girl. I don't know if it is because I have two demanding kids. I don't know if it is just because I suck in bed and am just deluded into thinking I am awesome in that capacity. I suck. I shouldn't be in relationships with anyone. My son pointed out to me tonight that grandma can't do everything for us. So apparently he noticed I haven't done anything for us since my last horrid relationship ended back last year around a month from now....last year...bad year. I thought this one was going so much better. I was wrong. I seem to be wrong a lot. I really am trying to not be negative. Maybe it's just not genetically possible for me to be in a relationship, friendship or otherwise. So kudos life, you got me again. Some day I will not have anymore tears to cry.